The Anxiety Art Adventures

Hello and welcome to the anxiety art adventures, I’m Becci and I’m sharing my journey with you in the hope that it will help some of you in some way. I’m 45 and I have anxiety, ive lived with it my whole life but as I’ve reached peri menopause it’s gotten so much worse, it’s a narrative I’ve heard so many times from women my age, your whole life changes, slowly, over the course of years. If I’m honest I started to change when I hit my 40s but it happened so gradually that I didn’t notice until last year, and now I’m almost crippled with it. I won’t go on too much about the peri as I’m sure you have all heard of it, so how does this fit into art adventures you ask?

I journal a lot, it’s something I have done for decades but I ramped it up during Covid, it was a difficult few years for so many people and even though I came out of it the other side unharmed and healthy I was still changed by it. The Anxiety that period produced around leaving the house stayed with me, I became a bit of a recluse and stopped doing things I would have normally loved to do, seeing friends, gigs, holidays, being around people, it all stopped. I didn’t notice it as a problem at first I just thought that I’d matured in to someone that doesn’t like people much, but looking back through the past 6 years of journals has made me realise that anxiety had taken a firm hold of my life.

Fast forward to 2025, I’d met a wonderful person and we decided to move in together, I had found peace, love and acceptance but the anxiety was still there, lurking in the background, making excuses for me as to why I wasn’t living my life the way I wanted. We had brought a camper van, it’s been my lifelong dream to have the freedom to just bugger off when I want and explore, and even that wasnt happening for me, I had the van, the time and the desire to go out and live my dream but I still couldn’t make myself do it. What the heck? I started to ask myself what was wrong with me and behold, anxiety rears it’s ugly head again.

So I created the anxiety art adventures, at least once a month (I’d like to do it once a week but life be lifeing) I go out in the van, I force myself to pick somewhere out in nature and just go. I worry about parking, and driving and other stupid things that are actually molehills that my anxiety makes seem like mountains, but I feel the fear and do it anyway, take some Kalms, pack some food and just go. I take the dog and give her a good walk first, then it’s back to the van. Usually I’d get back to the safety of the vehicle and simply drive home, worried about the journey back so much that I wouldn’t take the time to stop and sit and reflect, to take it all in and congratulate myself on being able to overcome the fear. So i created a ritual that I do everytime to force me to slow down and face that anxiety head on.

After Boo and I (Boo is the dog) Have had a good, long walk we get back to the van and I pop the kettle on, light an incense stick and get out my art kit, or journal or book, anything I can do to help me relax. And I sit, I force myself to wait until that incense stick has burnt down and gone out, it takes about an hour and 15 so it’s a really lovely amount of time for me to get in a flow state and relax. Once the stick has burnt out I can go home if I wish. 9 times out of 10 I stay longer as I’m so absorbed in what I’m doing that I don’t notice it’s gone out.

This ritual has helped me so much, I started off driving to places I know, safe spaces where I know there will be parking, I know the route etc, recently I've been planning journeys further afield, new places ive never been to, my aim is to eventually stay overnight somewhere.

I know I’m privileged, not everyone has access to a car, never mind a camper van! So I’m trying not to waste the opportunity and make the most of it.

Even if you don’t have a car you can do this, hop on the bus and go somewhere new, take your sketch book and set a timer, it’s difficult at first, the anxiety keeps telling you to go home, it throws everything it thinks can go wrong at you to force you to give in and pack up, try your best to ignore it and stick it out. I promise that every time

you do it will get easier and easier.

Anyway, ive been doing this for the past 8 months so I thought it’s time for me to share in the hopes it helps someone face their own anxiety and take steps towards living their best life. We will keep you updated.

Lots of love

Becci and Boo